


Void And Null; Gasping For Air

by HMSquared



Series: Twilight [2]
Category: markiplier - Fandom
Genre: Angst and Tragedy, Crying, Depression, Developing Relationship, He is NOT a happy guy, Headaches & Migraines, Love, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Poor Poor Markimoo, Suicide, Texting, Tumblr, Twitter, YouTube, septiplier angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-27
Updated: 2019-05-27
Packaged: 2020-03-20 00:03:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18981085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HMSquared/pseuds/HMSquared
Summary: While Jack is off living life to the fullest and making videos with Felix, Mark is stuck in the past.





	Void And Null; Gasping For Air

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoy!

Mark woke up with a splitting headache; this was, unfortunately, nothing new. It had been a month since he had last spoken to Jack and...well, everything had gone to hell.

Jack had started making tons of videos with Felix, and Mark had a sneaky suspicion he knew why. They had said nothing public about it, but the signs were there. Signs that it wasn't just a collaboration phase, and he had unintentionally been left out in the cold.

_Have you spoken to him?_

**_Not since the last time you asked yesterday, asshat._ **

Wade felt terrible for his actions, which was understandable; he had caused Jack's anger in the first place. He had been the one to shatter Mark's friendship with the Irishman, the person he had supported during the growth of his channel. For some reason, making videos with Felix (the guy who had given Jack his shoutout) stung even more.

 

Mark sucked down a glass of water that did nothing to calm his nerves. He was very glad he had recorded a few Twitch streams with Bob and Wade; the videos could be split and uploaded as he wished. It gave him more time to stall.

They didn't talk about Jack during the stream. That had been an unspoken rule since day 1. The fans had no idea the split had occurred (all four of them had deleted the footage and audio of Jack's rant), and Mark wanted to keep it that way. Initially, it was so he didn't anger his friend more, but now it had turned into a snub.

A few people had questions. Mark had edited out the hole where Wade had screwed Jack over; he and Bob had left it in, and Jack had deleted everything from that point altogether. Something had happened, the community just wasn't sure what. A few theories had come up, none of them close to the truth, and when asked, Mark always made the excuse his footage had gotten corrupted. It was partly true; the memory was a sour grape in his brain.

 

Logging onto Tumblr, Mark lazily scrolled through posts. He wasn't looking for anything in particular, for even the greatest of fandoms had become boring. There were a few drawings of Tiny Box Tim he liked and reblogged, but that was about it. Then, right as he was about to log off, a post caught his attention.

"GUYS...I KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON." The title itself was dumb, which Mark realized was hypocritical considering his stupidity with video names. Even so, he clicked on the post and read it.

_Done some digging on the golf videos, and there are several bits of muted audio. You can see it in the webcams, their mouths move but no sound comes out. And now the videos with Felix have cropped up...could Septiplier be canon?_

A few people had reblogged and responded; for the most part, they thought the theory was ludicrous. But as he sat, reading it over and over like a man possessed, Mark began to cry.

The post wasn't wrong. There were bits of muted audio, and...he did have feelings for Jack.

Mark had realized it a few days after the split when the first video with Felix had been uploaded. Watching them chat about a show the Swedish YouTuber was putting together, he had realized how jealous he was. How every time Jack glanced at Felix, his heart rate skyrocketed, and he swore under his breath. Realizing this had made Mark cry for thirty minutes, angry with himself and with his friends for letting it happen. They weren't stupid; it had probably come up during editing.

 

Sitting there, staring at the post, Mark realized he was done. Done with YouTube, done with Bob and Wade...done with fighting the urges in him.

His headache spiked, causing him to wince and hiss. Shakily getting to his feet, Mark traveled across the floor to the bathroom and clawed around in his medicine cabinet. After a minute, he grabbed his migraine pills and swallowed, letting the cold object go down.

 _It would be so easy_ , Mark thought. He could just swallow the bottle, end his life then and there. But he didn't want to do that. Soon...but not yet. Because, deep down, part of him wanted someone to notice and step in.

Walking back out to his computer, he pulled up Twitter. Fingers floating above the keys, Mark thought. Then, after two minutes of thinking, a deadly smirk crossed his face as he typed and hit post.

**_void_ **

 

Two days later, Bob texted him.

_Have you seen Felix's newest video?_

No, he hadn't. But, standing up to look, Mark felt his heart quicken and tears form in his eyes. He knew exactly what he was about to see.

"MY LIFE HAS CHANGED." That was the title, the thumbnail a picture of Felix with a grin on his face. Biting his tongue, Mark sat down and clicked on it.

"Hey, guys, Pewdiepie here." The grin on his face was a small but elated one. "So, something really big has happened, and I wanted to tell you guys before he does." Felix chuckled, looking down at the floor and shaking his head. There was no sign of regret; more rather, he seemed shocked by what would come next. Biting his thumb, Mark whispered,

"What big thing happened, Felix? What caused that doofy smile to appear on the face I would love to rip open?" Looking back up at the camera, Felix said,

"So a lot of you guys have noticed I've been doing a lot more videos with Jack, and there's a reason for that he doesn't want me to discuss. But yesterday, things changed. Now, I'm not going to give you all the details, but...as of 8:15 yesterday, he and I are dating." Felix's grin widened, a tiny laugh escaping his lips. Mark put his head in his hands and began to sob in anger and sadness. Why was he doing this to himself?

Felix continued talking, but he didn't hear the rest of it. Shooting to his feet, Mark walked into the bathroom and, without hesitation, swallowed the rest of the migraine pills whole. Then, turning around and walking back into the kitchen, he opened Twitter and shakily typed, losing grip with each letter.

**_null_ **

Sleep was forming in his eyes. Shutting his laptop after making sure the tweet had gone through, Mark headed into his bedroom and lay down on his suddenly very plush bed. This was it.

There was a knock at the door, and a voice fluttered through.

"Mark?" It was unfortunately not Jack but rather Wade, and he sounded concerned. "You in there, buddy?" Mark didn't have the energy or desire to respond.

"Mark, it's Bob and Wade. We're worried about you, dude." Mark tried not to laugh; of course, they only cared now, when he was on his deathbed.

The door opened, their footsteps barely hitting his ears. Rolling over onto his side, Mark lay his head on a pillow and let his eyes finally shut.

 

He was traveling through darkness, snippets of videos going through his brain. Jack's voice, his laughter, all hitting Mark like a cool breeze. There was no light at the end of the tunnel, but all he wanted now was to find his friend and tell him how much he loved him. Something he had never gotten to express in life.

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment!


End file.
